Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Three days have passed since my last blog, so I should probably write something. It's been a very difficult day for me...woke up at 4:30 am, couldn't go back to sleep, so I got maybe 5 hours of sleep...again...not enough to keep me sane.

It's been a real struggle today to make sense of anything, especially my own behavior. I've made a fool of myself more than once, not a pleasant feeling, but it's so easy when I'm tired and stressed, to misinterpret what someone says or the tone they use, so my reactions were a little less than rational. I'm sorry if you were one of the ones I offended.

I took a Xanex around 5 pm, drank a glass of wine with my dinner, then took an Ambien around 8:30. Surely something will knock me out tonight. The doctor wanted me to switch to Ambien, since the Lunesta wasn't giving me more than about 5 hours either. I have trouble accepting that I need a pill to make me sleep, but this is standard practice for combating chronic insomnia, I understand. The doctor seems to think that sleep deprivation does more damage than depending on sleeping pills. I am beginning to yawn, so I'm going to bed with a book and read 'til I can't hold my eyes open. Wish me luck in getting a solid 8 hours, at least.

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