I've called the doctor's office where my procedure is scheduled for Weds. to make sure it's been approved by my insurance. It's an expensive test and not something I want to pay for myself. If it has been approved, I'll go ahead with it. My doctor probably used my complaints about occasional IBS symptoms to justify the test. My bowels have always been affected by emotional distress and sometimes it's just everyday, ordinary stress (TMI, I know), but if there is something else wrong, I need to know.

I've criticised my mother for not taking better care of her health. She had to be critically ill or injured before she would go to a doctor, and never got check-ups. My father probably relied on doctors too much. Somewhere between them is the moderate middle and I'd like to think it's the path I'm on. Surely I can survive on Diet Sprite, Jello, Chicken Bouillon, and Apple Juice for one day, and it might just get rid of those 3 extra pounds I picked up over the holidays. Besides, it always gives me a psychological boost to do something difficult that my sister was afraid to do. Sibling rivalry comes in handy sometimes.

With Dad living until he was 87, and Mom already 88, I've concluded they were made of tough stuff. I would like my quality of life to be better toward the end than theirs has been, and I will do whatever I can to improve those odds.

More than once yesterday I got the message: Be not afraid, I go before you always, come, follow me, and I will give you rest. That song ran through my mind several times during the day, from early until late. Then our Old Testament reading was from Isaiah 43, and included these verses: Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.

With everything else that was going on around me, my message from On High was definitely encouraging. That same passage goes on to say:

I will bring your offspring from the east,
And gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'
And to the south, 'Do not hold them back '
Bring My sons from afar
And My daughters from the ends of the earth...

As much as I would like to believe that Illinois and Florida were the north and south mentioned here, it didn't resonate like the "fear not" verses.