I've given the ok for the surgeon to remove the tumors in the morning. It's a matter of preventing infection and undue discomfort and pain. It will improve the quality of the time she has left. Still not sure what they want or can do about the cancer in her spine. It will eventually paralyze her if she lives long enough. Lord, be merciful, and cut short her days of suffering.

The nursing home can hold Mother's room for 14 days. She's been out of it for 8 days. They also offer hospice care there, so she may be changed to that when she goes back. They're still saying she owes more than I think she does. Medicaid should go back and pay that balance from '05, because every cent Mother had has been given to them already. My horoscope today said, "There's another mess to get through, pertaining to who will pay for what. Don't get too riled up by material things, and stall for as long as you can."

Harlee Brighton Johnson is supposed to celebrate her birthday this evening. Paul says he's going to call her either Mo-Ped or Sunshine. I'm so glad he's finally a grandpa! And he will be a good one, I know. Clay and Cooper fell in love with him last summer when he took them fishing. Their picture from that outing is in the May issue of Mississippi Woods and Waters, he said. I need to get 2 copies and send one to Tampa.

I talked to Ricky and Cooper this afternoon. Cooper played his recital piece for me, The Entertainer, and did it really well. I had sent Ricky an article about a little league baseball team of handicapped kids in Calif. He wants to look at the possibilities of starting one in the North Tampa Little League. The normal kids pair up with the challenged children to help, so it's a win-win for everybody. Cooper pitched 58 strike outs for the season. Very impressive for a 9 yr old. Clay's band has their concert tomorrow night. Neither Ricky nor Mary Ann can be there, but a friend is videotaping it for them. I'm so glad he's playing the sax. It's one of my favorite instruments. I wish I could be there.

Benji sent a movie of Pip's first haircut. He was very good throughout the whole ordeal, and looked so handsome when they finished. I can't wait to kiss those chubby little cheeks.

My BP was still higher than it should be when I checked it today, 143/80. Guess I should call Dr. LaGarde. He may want to change my Rx. I'm taking a break from choir until this situation with Mother is stabilized. My fortitude just ain't what it used to be. David said to take as long a break as I need to.

My major stressor is still my husband. After I told him I'd given consent for the surgery, he launched into a lecture about how they will wear me down, make me feel guilty, and eventually persuade me to do everything I said I didn't want to do. And he was the one who told me at lunch that we couldn't just do nothing. How many times has he made me feel "damned if I do, and damned if I don't?" This can't be good for the hypertension.