Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Sure am glad every day is not as stressful as today. Skip and I got to the hospital this morning around the same time that discharge decisions were being made for Mike. He refused to cooperate with the psychiatrist who came yesterday to do an evaluation, and was giving the nurses a difficult time, so they were anxious to get rid of him.

Methodist Rehab was not an option because I would not commit to letting him come home, and insisted he enter rehab for his alcoholism after completing his treatment there. So Plan B was a Nursing and Rehab Center in Brandon. Medicare will pay for 20 days, not sure if BC/BS will pay beyond that or not. No treatment plans are in place for anything but his physical disabilities, but they were willing to take him without a firm discharge plan.

Hopefully, in the meantime, he can get started with AA and get an evaluation from one of the local treatment centers. He's still not acknowledging his dependency on alcohol, but he did take my ultimatum more seriously today than he's been taking it. Having Skip in the room with me probably helped. He didn't dare rail and curse like he's done in the past, but his "Okay, honey..." sounded like he was more interested in getting me to hush and get out of the room than in following the advice I was giving him, very patronizing and condescending. We're probably going to have to do an intervention before he is motivated to learn new coping skills.

Skip and I then went to talk to the attorney who drew up the wills and living wills and power of attorney authorizations, etc. for Mike and me. I had not seen Jimmy in years and had no idea he had personal experience with the type of dilemma that I'm currently facing, but he could not have been more attentive or solicitous. He gave me some solid advice about legal options. We touched on divorce, but I want to try a couple of other things first.

If I have to divorce Mike to preserve my physical, mental, and emotional health, I will. A panic attack woke me up around midnight last night with a pounding heart, blood pressure that had spiked and acid reflux that was choking me. I can't tolerate much more of this uncertainty and anxiety. I need some resolution and peace of mind.

Your prayers are very much appreciated. God continues to put very helpful people in my path, and for that I am very grateful.

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