Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I've taken several hours of the last three days listening to lectures that were given at the Kanuga Summer Dream Conferences for the past five years. They're online and free, so if you're interested or just curious about what we do in our Dream Groups, give it a listen. Rick sent me a Dream Movie this morning. It's only 3 minutes long, so watch it! You'll be glad you did.

It was so hot outside when I walked my dogs about 3:30 I came back in with a headache. With the heat index it's 98*, I just heard.

I volunteered to call the Water Lilies this month. ME! The phonephobic! No, it's probably not a phobia, since that's caused by irrational fear. It's more like a dread, an apprehension, a pet peeve. I just don't like talking on the phone. And yes, being tethered to one for 30 years at the phone company had a lot to do with it. If somebody calls and ties me up with idle chatter, I sometimes have palpitations. Whether it's caused by anxiety or emotional stress or too much caffeine, I don't know. I just know I avoid talking on the phone if at all possible. As an exercise in personal growth and stretching, I'm trying to get over some of this.

Introverts are not energized by socializing like extroverts are. Socializing actually drains energy from introverts. Some of you may remember when I was more extroverted. Something happened after I divorced Don, went through menopause, and moved to Jackson. I changed, I turned inward. I battled depression. I isolated.

I've made an effort in the last year to be more interested in the people around me, to get involved with new groups, make new friends. Having spent the first forty years of my life with my energy and attention directed to the people and activities around me does give me experience from which to draw, and it's not as draining now as it has been. I've made some good friends through these efforts, but changes are happening with those friends and once again, I feel myself withdrawing, turning inward.

And of course, this all reminds me of a song. Bible scholars will recognize it as an adaptation of Ecclesiastes 3. It did not originate with the Byrds and Pete Seeger, even though they did help to popularize it.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late

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