Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The weirdest thing happened at Target yesterday. I came back to my car after being in the store for over an hour, and found the doors unlocked and the motor running. There was no key in the ignition, it was in my hand. How could that possibly happen? I have no explanation, and neither does Mike. He was with me and witnessed this strange phenomenon. If he had not seen it firsthand, he would not have believed it, he admitted. I'm still scratching my head over that one.

I simplified my Christmas shopping by buying each adult on my list a new sweater or sweatshirt. The kids will have their stockings stuffed. Trying to figure out what to get everyone required more imagination than I could muster. If the gift is not the right size or a style they like, they can donate it to the nearest homeless shelter, and my feelings will not be hurt. I also bought some books while at St. Andrews Bookstore, which may become gifts, but may not be anything but gifts to myself. I really don't need to go shopping when I'm in a Scrooge frame of mind. My heart feels 3 sizes too small.

An article I read recently about Caregiver Burnout listed these symptoms:

Withdrawal from friends, family and other loved ones.
Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed.
Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless and helpless.
Changes in appetite, weight, or both.
Changes in sleep patterns.
Getting sick more often.
Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring.
Emotional and physical exhaustion.

To be honest, I've got 5 of the 9, and that is with much praying and taking 100 mg of Zoloft every day. Thank goodness, Mike has quit drinking and is still attending AA. That gave me light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

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