The cardiologist agreed with me about the alcohol. When Mike told him about Sunday's episode, he said, "If that has happened more than once, you need to quit drinking." Mike had to admit it was not the first time. Thank you, Doc!

This is the same doctor who told him in '01, when he had his last open-heart surgery, that a couple of 5 oz. glasses of red wine every night would not hurt him. Mike was never satisfied with that limit. He wanted an 8 oz. glass filled to the brim, twice. When I poured it for him, I diluted it with water, but he got to where he was pouring it for himself before I went downstairs to fix supper. If he suspected that my drinks were watered down, he never said anything.

He seemed to be accepting better the imposed limits after his appointment. He's still not sold on the idea of his need for AA. "They're too fanatical," he said, "they just swapped their addiction to alcohol for addiction to the program." That's his decision to make, but I did tell him that recovering alcoholics, who I've known, all say it's easier to kick the habit with a supportive group to encourage them and hold them accountable. The 12 steps start with admitting a powerlessness over alcohol, and he's not there yet, but he's moving in that direction.

There isn't much difference, in my experience, from a drunk and a dry drunk. Don white-knuckled his way to sobriety for 7 of the 10 years we were married, and retained a lot of the "stinking thinking" that goes along with drinking. My thinking wasn't too clear back then, either. I actually thought I could "Rescue the perishing," just like the hymn said, especially after he testified to the whole church, "Cathy was the angel who pulled me out of the gutter." Trouble is, this angel couldn't keep him out of the gutter, no matter how many times he sang "You Needed Me" to me.

I cried a tear, you wiped it dry
I was confused, you cleared my mind
I sold my soul, you bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me

You gave me strength to stand alone again
To face the world out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me, you needed me

And I can't believe it's you
I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave
I'd be a fool
'Cause I finally found someone who really cares

You held my hand when it was cold
When I was lost you took me home
You gave me hope when I was at the end
And turned my lies back into truth again
You even called me "friend"

You gave me strength to stand alone again
To face the world out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me, you needed me
You needed me, you needed me

If that's not a recipe for a very co-dependant relationship, I don't know what is.