Monday, May 01, 2006

Dr. Krooss came back to see Mother today, said they will run an MRI to see if the cancer has spread to her back. He agreed with my assessment about the other doctors trying to pass Mother's treatment back and forth. No one has a good grasp on what might be helpful.

Too bad I can't call my vet in. He has no qualms about putting suffering creatures out of their misery. It's a dirty rotten shame that we can terminate a pet's life so easily, yet not be able to do anything legally to terminate a patient's life who has no hope or desire for recovery. I hope by the time I get to that stage, we have more compassionate laws regarding euthanasia, or that I have Aunt Margaret's herbal formula from the Hemlock Society.

It's just not right to hold her here in her drugged, degraded, despondant, despairing condition. The hospitals, the nursing homes, the funeral homes perform wonderful services, but I've always felt they exploit the general population's fear of death by doing way more than is necessary. As Christians we have so much more awaiting us in the next life. To slow a person's natural progression toward Glory is like tripping a ballplayer's run from third base to home plate after he knocked a homerun. Who would do that? The race is run, the battle's done, cheer them on!

Betsy told me on Saturday that Mother refused to give consent for Papaw's leg to be amputated when it turned gangrenous. He died soon afterward. Since she has no living will, we could look to her example to determine what she thought about prolonging a terminally ill person's life. I know many people would judge me harshly for saying these things, but I cannot, in good conscience, agree that we should try heroic measures to save her. My Grandfather Johnson made sure her soul was saved 75 years ago, I'm not so sure the decaying flesh is worth saving.

She ate her lunch fairly well after they replaced the chicken breast with some ground chicken and gravy. Her diet has been changed to soft food, but what they sent didn't look different from regular food. I mashed up the carrots, mixed them in with the chicken, poured some of her potato soup over that and she ate most of it. I had to alternate bites of chicken mush with pie to keep her interested. Somehow, we ran out of pie before the other food was gone. Mike said she would sneak pie when I wasn't looking.

Mary Ann called while I was feeding her. She asked about hospice care, and whether it had been discussed. She and Lori had been talking about it. Jeanette had emailed me a sweet note of concern this morning. She told me that Ricky Bishop is planning to retire from his band director's job at NEMJC and become a preacher. I was pleased to learn that because Mother told me she wanted Ricky Bishop to preach her funeral. Maybe she knew something about his plans that the rest of us didn't.

I also got an email from George Morris Kelly, originally of Pville. His grandmother Ms. Sarchie Kelly was one of my daddy's favorite people. He is working on his family tree and found my websites. It was good to hear from another Pvillian. He's kept up with people much better than I have.
He taught English at Hinds Com Col for years and has retired. He got acquainted with Benji at Ole Miss, he said.

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