Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Our instructor for water aerobics today was Libba, a Methodist minister's wife, who was a much better match, IMO, for the middle and older seniors in the class. Our 20-something matchstick instructor is out of town for the week, and while I enjoy her classes, too, I felt we got a better work-out with the older lady. That sounds like ageism in reverse, and I guess it is, but today's instructor inspired more confidence in me. "If she can do it, I can, too," I thought, which is not always the case when the younger woman leads us.
10:55 pm. Choir rehearsal tonight was arduous and I was so hungry when we finally finished. Thank goodness, Judy had a delicious supper ready when we got to her house. It was her hubby's birthday, but rather than birthday cake, he wanted banana pudding, and it was delicious. Our entree was beef tips over rice with salad and a delicious toasted bread. I drank too much wine, but was not too inebriated to drive home. She was gracious to send a bowl of the banana pudding home to Mike when I told her it was his favorite dessert, too.
I rescheduled my appointment with the attorney who is handling Mother's affairs. We have to formally close the guardianship before we divide the proceeds of her estate. I'm still feeling very ambivalent about whether I want to keep the real property in P'ville or sell it. There are so many repairs and improvements I want to make to this house, so if we sold that property, I could afford to do the work here without having to borrow money, but I don't want to let go of the home there. I'm back and forth every day on this issue and wish I could make a final decision and feel some peace about it. Prayers and/or advice anyone?

1 comment:

C J Garrett said...

from Skip:

Cathy, you are an emotional and highly sensitive individual- it's why I love you. Your ties to Plantersville are strong, and they always will be. Letting go of that house represents something of a loss. It brings back to your awareness (it is never far from it) of your childhood, of your home, of your family, of your friends, of Cecil, and a unique way of life. There is such a richness there. That emotional side of you sees selling as a severing of that connection, and so you hold on. The reality is that all of the richness, all of those memories, will always be with you. Selling a house will never remove that. In addition you still have a strong network of friends there that you can turn to that share those same feelings, as well as family members with you in your current home. Those will be with you as well.

But, in addition to your attachment to the past, you live in this world, in the here and now. And in this too you have established a strong and supportive network of friends. Jackson/Brandon offers you much that would be difficult or impossible to replace if you were ever to return to your childhood home. You have grown so much as a person, and invested so much of your self into this new life that there would be an even greater loss if you returned to where you once were. I believe your true inner self recognizes this, but those old attachments are so, so strong. The way through this is to realize that you do not have to give up one for the other, there does not need to be a conflict. Both are real, both are a part of you, both will remain a part of you. At its core, life is about change, life is about growth. You are a living statement to that, Cathy. Look at how far you have come, how much you have grown. You have such a richness, and more that awaits you. Allow yourself to continue that process.

I sincerely believe this when I tell you, that your father would want it so. I can give no stronger endorsement. All of my love- Skip.