This made me laugh out loud:

THE PASTOR'S ASS

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and it won again. The local paper read: Pastor's Ass Out Front. His Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day, the local paper headline read: Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: Nun Has the Best Ass in Town.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: Nun Sells Ass for $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free.

Alas, the Bishop was buried the next day.

Moral of the story?? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life ... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass, and you'll live longer and be a lot happier.

(from the Rev. Mary L. Allen on the HoB/D message board. See, I told you I was learning a lot from these bishops and deputies.)