Sunday, March 19, 2006

Brrrrr!!! What happened to our warm weather? It's winter again. Cold, wet, miserable winter, 48* when I came in at 1:30. I came real close to skipping church today, but my conscience wouldn't let me. Mike and I went to Garfield's afterward for lunch. He and Jon Morefield stayed longer to visit and I came home, changed into a turtleneck and sweats, turned on the heat and finally got warm. I do not like being cold. Think I'll make me a pot of coffee, too. Ahhhh! Nothing like a steamy cup of Joe to chase the chill away.

I told Ben to make the flight reservations for me. When I mentioned it at lunch, Mike said, "If you go to Ireland, I'm going with you," knowing full well he would not do it and thinking that that would permanently stall my plans. His very next sentence was, “before you make plans for any trip, you need to wait until we’ve filed our taxes. We may owe more than you think we’re going to.”

So I asked him, “do you know how long it takes to get a passport? Do you have a copy of your birth certificate? You can‘t wait until the week before you want to go to start making plans. Benji is coming home in June.”

“Well, do you have to go while Benji’s there?” he asked. That‘s how I knew he was not serious about wanting to go, I mean, the main purpose of this trip is to visit Benji‘s family.

We're going to have a major blow-up about this before it's done, but that's nothing new. Rather than making arrangements for his care while I'm gone, I'm going to let him do that for himself, give him something to worry about other than trying to control me. Why does everything have to be so difficult?

I felt like a wallflower this morning when the rest of the choir, after overhearing Ben and me discuss our trips, totally ignored me and wanted to know all about Ben's trip. Not one person said anything to me or showed any interest in my plans. My feelings were hurt. I think Ben may have noticed that I got very quiet, and when he finished chatting with the others, he came over beside me to ask a couple of questions. He's a kind-hearted person, I guess that's why I like him, that, and he's a Baptist PK.

This reminds me of the trip I made in '84 to Salt Lake City to visit Paul's family. Deanne was still a baby, and I wanted to spend some time with her and Vance, who was about 8 at the time. Don was opposed to my going, but he couldn't/wouldn't take off work to go with me. Once I put that distance between us, it was all downhill after that. There was something about taking a stand for myself and what I wanted that ruptured our relationship. Things were never the same between us. I hope that doesn't happen in this one, and it shouldn't. Mike and I have a stronger bond than I had with Don.

Don's daughter Carla is 38 today. What a sweet, beautiful child she was. Now she has two sons of her own who never knew her daddy. He would have been a good grandfather, but died at 52 of lung cancer. She used to sit in his lap and beg him to quit smoking. I hope she's healthy and happy. I sure do miss her and her 2 brothers.

Skip has a new granddaughter born to Jonathan and Amy. That's 3 girls, Grace, Rachel, Amanda, and 1 grandson Zack. Helen's daughter is expecting a girl, too.

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